That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
