I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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