Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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