Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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