He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
