So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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