weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
