Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
