I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
