Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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