Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
