if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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