I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just had sex on a roof
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
