she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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