Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
