I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
