so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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