I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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