oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
