dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i believe in u and ur pee
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