y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
