there was a trapeze. enough said
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize