Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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