went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
