He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
