Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
