I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
