Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
