You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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