Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
