I faked an abortion last night.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
