just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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