She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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