I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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