I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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