; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
