Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
