guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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