Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
