Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
