11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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