Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
