just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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