i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
