Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
