You're so nebulous sometimes
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
