i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
