I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
