At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
