operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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