it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
